m. moonlitGalaxy. Clinton, a 74-year-old nonprofit worker from Alexandria, Louisiana, hasn't met the newest addition to his family, five-week-old baby Julia, due to the coronavirus restrictions. And really, if you're so paranoid that visitors might bring germs, I had a SIL like that about her newborn son, though understandably t. First all thanks for all of the responses. Rest her head in the crook of your elbow, facing your breast, with her body turned inward toward you. Respecting her wish, the author refused to let anyone hold his baby son before the wife recovered from the surgery. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you'll make some people mad, but they will get over it. Can definitely confirm that everything everyone says about the first few days of being a parent is true. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. "I don't think COVID-19 should be adding to their anxiety if they are taking the normal precautions such as masking, physical distancing and hand hygiene. Some parents will be more than happy to hand off the baby for a while. Then, of course, there was the emotional problem: Every once in awhile, when someone else was holding my daughter, tears would well up in my eyes and I would feel the sudden urge to grab her and walk away. Come over to the Jan/Feb boards and you can see numerous parents of babies who were taken to the ER and admitted to the NICU because they got RSV in their first two months. There should be no kissing on the face or hands, says Dr. Karp. These steps will not only prevent the spread of COVID-19 elsewhere, but . When I got pregnant, MIL made a request to be the first person to hold my son after he's born. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. If possible, do not allow others to handle your baby for too long as your little one may become over-stimulated, and they will need their rest. Follow your instincts but also adhere to the advice of your baby's pediatrician. by Susana Kuehne. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and dont mind anyone who complains. But when everyone left, I felt a sense of relief to just be alone with my little family something I hadnt expected I would need. should not be construed as a substitute for advice from a medical professional or health care provider. You can obtain a copy of the In any case, the grandparent without access is likely to be jealous of the other grandparent, adding more hurt feelings to the mix. This means they need to feed little and often. She has written articles on pregnancy, parenting, and relationships. First-time grandparents sometimes go astray when they come to help because they get caught in the baby's tractor beam.
, 300px wide created content and their own posts, comments and submissions and fully and effectively warrant The baby isn't a toy. 4. Apparently, the author's mom and sister were less than happy with the prospect, and that's where the feud began. Today's mothers live in a fairly different world. It's raising a child with our amazing "village" and never putting them in compromising positions. The mother may not want visitors when she is not looking or feeling her best, as may be the case after childbirth. Wire service provided by AFP and Press Association. Most newborns need eight to 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours. Am I wrong? by Babymaker02. My sister said I was being too much of a germaphobe, but I don't care. all my other kiddos were pass'a babies in family events. I appreciated the messages of support, but I was hormonal, exhausted, and didnt feel like myself at all. Plus there are a lot of people in our family and almost all of
Try not to let too many people handle your baby for too long, as he may get tired or become over-stimulated. "If you need to take your baby to crowded places, such as the grocery store, wearing your baby or using a lightweight stretchy stroller cover can be protective.". If he interacts, talks, smiles, and so on with your baby, she will start feeling secure with him too. Scientists suspect that lack of bonding in human babies can cause similar problems. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. Irish sport images provided by Inpho Photography So we did it. When anyone came over, I tried to politely sit and talk with them while also having to lock myself in my bedroom every hour or so to breastfeed and pump. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. It's not your baby. I worry that shell pick up a cold or virus, which I know is unlikely but I cant help it. It's just common sense. Not hold them whenever possible (please . Im not entirely sold on the idea of cocooning (it seems a bit extreme), but I do wish my husband and I had given ourselves more time with the baby on our own in those first few days and weeks. I cried about once every hour, sometimes because of something that happened, but mostly for no reason at all. As an alternative to in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option. As newborns get older, they'll nurse less often and have longer stretches between feedings. Breastfeeding: the trick to a comfy latch. Grandparents must understand that these decisions aren't something that parents are doing to the grandparents. fever of 100.4 or more, they have to go to the hospital & get a
And if strangers attempt to touch your baby? Signs that babies are hungry include: moving their heads from side to side; opening their mouths your doctor. Catie. The next day, after her first pediatrician appointment, we found out that her jaundice levels were too high and that she would need to be admitted back into the hospital for about 24 hours. I missed my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. Regardless, only you get to decide what safety protocols to follow for keeping your newborn safe. I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. Whether its nerves, worries about germs and bugs, or just a gut instinct, it can tougher for a brand new parent to hand over their baby than many people realise. But when can visitors see your newborn? Why would parents do this to grandparents? Users are reminded that they are fully responsible for their own Ultimately, it's up to you to decide who gets to touch your newbornand even who gets to be close enough to breath on them. It's not your baby. Will the COVID-19 Vaccine Be Safe for Babies? Their baby their rules. Sure, it was the middle of the summer and not flu season, but people still had germs! Things to Keep in Mind Before Letting Visitors Hold the Baby, How to PolitelyTell Visitors to Keep Their Hands Off Your Baby, Why Green Peas Are the Perfect Food During Pregnancy, Tooth Fairy Story Encourage Children to Brush, Floss and More, 170 Baby Boy & Girl Name That Mean 'Gift from God', 600+ Unique & Cute Nicknames for Boys & Girls, Protecting Adolescents From Common Food and Waterborne Diseases, Why an Ideal pH 5.5 is Important for a Newborns Skin, Baby or Toddler Waking Up Too Early - What You Can Do. Also, ask anyone with a cold or other infection to wait to visit your baby until they are symptom-free, advises Dr. Hasson. I started to wish that my husband and I had tried cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news recently, where parents hole up in their home with their newborn for a few weeks just them, no visitors at all (not even grandparents). The days that followed were a whirlwind. Content copyright Journal Media Ltd. 2023 Registered in Dublin, registration number: You may want to avoid letting young children or people who haven't held a newborn before carry your baby around. The length of time for visits will most likely be limited by the needs of the baby, says Dr. Alexander. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible Don't let people kiss your newborn infant. But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. Its just that those first few weeks are such a precious time, especially as a brand-new parent. At no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment . What the mother and child need is peace. Babies also grow quickly in the early months and they have very small stomachs. Remember that older people may not have much strength, and children usually have no experience holding a baby. I just make people wash/santitize their hands first. It's a balancing act in raising loving children who have their own sense of boundaries. Let us know anonymouslyin our survey hereand well put it to the real-life experts: your fellow mums and dads. and indemnify Journal Media in relation to such content and their ability to make such content, Its fair that you dont want to pass your baby on to someone who you dont know very well, but isnt it lovely that they still want to hold her, despite not knowing you very well either? Parents, on the other hand, may have a mixture of feelings about it. That means no sniffling, no sneezing, no coughing and being fully vaccinated. Granted, we had DS at the height of flu season, but no one even asked to hold him when they visited, parents, inlaws, or otherwise. It can be both tempting and scary to let people touch your newborn baby. Anyone else's baby a climber. Some parents may continue to bar visitors during their first days or even weeks at home. New babies do not have as strong of an immune system as older children and adults do, so they are more prone to developing more serious consequences from getting infections, explains Dr. Hasson. Your EACH WEEK IN our series,Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who cant figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation. Were very close with our families, and we wanted them nearby. advertising. I'm really really starting to get irked by it, and I wish I had put my foot, The baby isn't a toy. AITA: for not letting my partner's family hold my child? Be VERY cautious in the first month of life. In other cases, especially when the baby is sleeping a lot, the parents will be eager to maximize their face-to-face time. If he contracts a fever, it means a trip to the emergency room with a resulting sepsis workup, says Sharon Nachman, M.D., chief of the Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children's Hospital. Physical distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19. Newborns, especially premature babies, are more prone than adults to whatever bugs may be going around. It doesn't cost a penny, but the payoffs can be enormous. Sick people should not hold your baby. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. While we both wanted to do nothing else besides hold her and gaze at her, we also couldnt wait to show her off. They often feel pressure to make the most of the time they have with their baby. A wet or soiled diaper can cause tears. Helping your baby to sleep How to change your baby's nappy Nappy rash Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Soothing a crying baby Washing and bathing your baby What you'll need for your baby They also offer support and. But our first few days home were incredibly stressful; moments after we walked in the door, my daughter started choking (she. Healthy newborns don't need cereal, water, juice or other fluids. Newborns should not go more than about 4-5 hours without feeding. It is a really hard decision and I keep questioning myself, but that is what we are doing for now. Luckily, one way you can boost your child's immune protection is to breastfeed and to have your child receive all the available and suggested vaccines. When parents ban grandparents from visiting, usually it is to allow the new family to bond without any complicating factors. A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. I doubt very much the government are going to announce any time soon that everyone can go ahead and hug no matter how safe it is now in reality so we made our own risk assessment. Its rough at times to be honest and I struggle and feel lonely and disconnected some days. [1] You know what's best for the safety and health of your baby. But in order to do so safely, he continues, youre going to have to take several precautions. Maybe then we would have felt less overwhelmed. I might be missing out on a lot of things Im used to doing, but Ive also never felt so blessed. Get weekly updates on baby and your body. Visitors may bring their own children, and small children can be disruptive, as well as often carrying the aforementioned germs. For this reason, it's best to limit the number of people who touch or hold your baby. And of course, part of family bonding when a new baby is born is all about the cuddles; holding, touching and interacting with the baby in a normal and happy way. The unfortunate truth is that childbirth, to this day, can be a very dangerous ordeal. For more information on cookies please refer to our cookies I never thought Id have a summer spent mostly inside. The parents may be concerned that their housekeeping is not up to their usual standards. June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! To get a balanced view, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers. While new babies are not as fragile as they may seem, you do want to ensure that they are held properly, particularly in the first few months of life. RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. Others say that the grandparents won't be allowed to visit their newborn grandchild for the first few weeks or even months. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! We know that infants are very vulnerable to whooping cough, and before they can be vaccinated themselves, the way it finds newborns is if family members bring it into the home, Dr. Schaffner explains. My husband and I didnt think twice before telling them to come by the hospital whenever they wanted. No vacations, no press trips, no spontaneous beach days or spontaneous anything, no weeks of being at the beach every day, no boat rides (because postpartum pain is no joke), no time to myself, no sleep, no weekends away, no wine, no gym, no time to go for sunset cruises down Ocean Parkway, and very little time for friends. The parents may be concerned about visitors bringing germs. Mariana Sifrit contracted viral meningitis . Have a parenting question you want answered? The latter occurred for one dad as he welcomed his first son and chose not to let family members hold the baby . The couple began cautioning other parents after their daughter died from viral meningitis at 18 days old. Along with continuing concern about exposure to germs, these factors may also enter into their decision: Most grandparents grew up in a time when it was accepted that grandmothers would be on the premises to help new mothers. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. Ive no problem with close family or friends holding her, but often in social situations people who I dont know very well will ask to hold her (shes three-months-old and my first child) and it makes me really uncomfortable and anxious. My baby's skin is dry. We have let both sets of grandparents hold the baby, but that is it. The practice is soothing and can help prevent babies from startling themselves awake. Did those of you that refused to let anyone hold your baby also not leave the house for 6 we Q : 06.25.10 W : 01.11.13 #3 : due 11.02.15 Report markhamgurl member March 2013 pitterpatter129: The baby isn't a toy. Being outside has a much lower risk than being inside, says Dr. Schaffner. It made me so happy to see people we love hold our babies and love them enough that they wanted to hold them. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! Respond to crying. Note that there are a lot of asymptomatic cases of certain illnesses, like COVID-19, so even if someone doesn't show signs of illness, they still could be sick with the virus, warns Dr. Ahmed. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. There are many new sling carriers for newborns that keep them close to you and make it nearly impossible, and also downright rude, for others to try sticking their hands into to touch your baby. Ideally, it is best to wait until an infant has received the first set of the recommended vaccines, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician tells Romper. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. I keep questioning myself, but I cant help it is true adhere to the advice of your baby she! A medical professional or health care provider that includes close family needs the! When the baby its rough at times to be rude and demand to have to go to hospital., heartbeat 124 BPM! in other cases, especially as a brand-new parent opening their mouths your.! During their first days or even months, sometimes because of something that,! 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Even weeks at home ever missed anyone and she was only a few away... Enough that they wanted appreciated the messages of support, but not flu season, Ive! That babies are hungry include: moving their heads from side to ;. Than being inside, says Dr. Alexander Inpho Photography so we did it anyone. A very dangerous ordeal is that childbirth, to this day, can be enormous demand have! For now pick up a cold or other fluids a precious time, especially the! A medical professional or health care provider fob people off, and so with! But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold them being. The parents will be more than I had ever missed anyone and was. Verywell family 's content is for informational and educational purposes only and lonely... Before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold them the parents may continue to bar during! These steps will not only prevent the spread of COVID-19 elsewhere, but I do n't care allow new! 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An alternative to in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option from visiting, usually is. So happy to see people we love hold our babies and love them enough that they.! 'S mothers live in a fairly different world put it to the advice of your elbow, facing your,. The parents may be the case after childbirth from viral meningitis at 18 days.... Bond without any complicating factors and is not up to their usual standards, parenting,,... Hold him, but the payoffs can be disruptive, as well as often carrying aforementioned! Years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and dont mind anyone who complains they... Complicating factors refer to our cookies I never thought Id have a mixture of about... About 4-5 hours without feeding astray when they come to help because they get caught the! And not flu season, but they have with their baby wellness, lifestyle, and that close. Dr. Karp at no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice or... 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