LYDIA: You wouldnt listen dad. OTHO: Let me say it (dramatically) DEATH! Hey, I get it! BEETLEJUICE: Wait, wait, wait COME ON! We are father, daughter, and Delia. The rule bookI present: The Handbook for The Recently Deceased. I just can't deal with Delia. Its like a green card thing! DELIA: I dont understand!
Lets chop off his head. Its either me or the booze. And shed be like Well, then I choosethe booze. The point is, we just got rid of your dad, and we were having SO much fun together! Hold on! I meant to say. Your moms dead, shes in the Netherworld. ADAM: My whole life flashed before my eyes! Having lost her. Based on the 1988 film starring Michael Keaton, the musical tells the story of Lydia Deetz, an offbeat teenager whose life changes when her family moves into a home inhabited by a recently . THE MAITLANDS: (ghostly.) Nothing would give me more pleasure than to kill those people downstairs. Dead guy, what brings you to the roof? I'm totally enchanted. BARBARA: You were right. BEETLEJUICE: Hi! ADAM: Well this just says Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. But first, I think it would be so wonderful if our newest family member would make a toast! Yes, its been very creepy. Whats a matter Chuck? Then they . I love it! The man next to me Like a gay republican! ADAM: Kill?!??!? . The full DC BJ script Every dead person gets one, but since youre not actually dead, wanna see a sad puppet show? CHARLES: -Not good for Lydia. BEETLEJUICE: That is a sandworm. And here we are sneaking around like two teenagers at a church picnic. Give me just one more BEETLEJUICE: It's showtime! Well actually it was just this really hot apartment in Queens, where the doors locked from the outside. But what if it doesnt last? Well, if you wanna treat me like a demon, then Ill be a demon. It says, Im warm, Im friendly, and I think about death only a normal amount! When she entered the kitchen there was Beetlejuice at the table, working on a crossword, wearing brand new reading glasses. MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: We come for your daughter, Chuck! Youll have to open the door to find out. Sayonara. Both movie and musical have the same bones, yet there are many differences that change everything from minor details to major motivations. UNLESS THEY GET THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES (YES YES, WE'RE FEELIN' IT, THEY'RE GONNA FEEL IT, WE'RE KILLIN' IT! I realized that I dont want to go through life alone. Beetlejuice will play its first show on Friday, April 8, 2022, it was announced Monday. Its not a fad! DELIA: (Ringing Triangle.) Im gonna need some help! No! ADAM: I gotta say hun, were lucky. Please, forgive me! It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual.'. CHARLES: Sweet Jesus, Delia we need a real exorcist! IS SIMPLY A MANIFESTATION OF MOTHERLY PANIC, AREN'T YOU CREATING A WAY OF TRANSLATING THE TERROR, HIDING AWAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE BEING A BAD MOM, ADAM AND BARBARA: SOON ENOUGH, OUR HOPES AND OUR DREAMS WILL BE CRUSHED. BEETLEJUICE: So then, I was like Lets do this! But hes my monster. Beetlejuice is ruder, raunchier and frankly, more repellent than ever in this original musical based on Tim Burton's wonderfully demented film. But when angst . Smash. Were still together. So kinda like this. CHARLES: On behalf of Delia and myself, I'd just like to say, ALL (but LYDIA): DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WANNA GO HOME. Charles! ADAM: I didnt think it was that weak! I know that my name's on the marquee, but youre going to have to watch a new show. And now this is what you get. But I (a beat.) Sophia Anne Caruso, who originated the role of Lydia Deetz in Broadway's Beetlejuice, has exited the production as of its Wednesday, Feb. 19 show. Club members can see a different show every night of the week! BARBARA: Yeah! Suggested Audition Pieces Auditioning for Lydia? BEETLEJUICE: WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE 'EM GO CRAZY, 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT SOME EVIL DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOU, YOU'VE GOTTA WORK GOTTA HAUNT TILL IT HURTS THROUGH THE NIGHT, AND GIVE THOSE GUYS THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES. And Im still here! LYDIA: Okay. ADAM: Do you mean us? BEETLEJUICE: Nice moves Lydia! CHARLES: Do you hear that, Delia? But, its worth it. CHARLES: OkayOtho! You are dead. Say Chuck, didnt you used to have a daughter? DELIA: (aggressive.) BARBARA: That needy pervert was right. AND YOU'LL BE LIKE, "WHAT?" CHARLES: Good! Theres very good energy in here. BEETLEJUICE: Well then what am I supposed to do! These ghosts are gonna make us a fortune! LYDIA: Wow, this is going to be such an interesting night! DELIA: About that. Get the shrimp! Proceed directly to the Netherworld! Now, to the Prius! BEETLEJUICE: Oh, Babs, I would LOVE that. Rule number 1: Dont leave the house. BEETLEJUICE: (sinisterly.) We used to live here. Dad, n-no you cant do that. That means its working! Home Explore Songbook Top Artists Groups Apps Get VIP. Also, one of your wine glasses is poison! Now normally, I would use a plumbline for this, but Im not too shabby with a freehand. It's a gold mine! BEETLEJUICE: Uh, wait what? CHARLES: Where is the shrimp? ** The ghost-with-the-most is coming to life on stage in this original musical based on Tim Burton's wonderfully demented film of the same . You dont like your dad, and I dont like my mom! CHARLES: And, she wanted my blessing. AGHHHH, ADAM: HOLD ON ONE DAMN MINUTE! Dead Mom loved our house. Join the StageAgent community
All recently deceased individuals, form a line! OH GOD! BEETLEJUICE: Boy, do you know how to pick em or what? MAXIE DEAN: Chuck, you moron! Im sorry its kind of a mess. And nothing else exists. : 1) Lollapalooza -- Created in 1991 as a farewell tour for Perry Farrell's band, it ran annually until 1997, and was revived in 2003. I guess Ill just go. The ghost-with-the-most comes to the stage in this edgy and irreverent musical comedy based on Tim Burton's dearly beloved film. First published Apr 06, 2020. It is based on the 1988 film of the same name, directed by Tim Burton with story by Michael McDowell and Larry Wilson, about a deceased couple who try to haunt the new inhabitants of their former home and call help from a devious bio-exorcist ghost named Betelgeuse (pronounced . BARBARA: Well, whatd you expect? I cant see! Im bringing my mom back! BARBARA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? BARBARA: No offense mister, but you give me the creeps. I am a very sexual being, and I do love me an orgy, but I say this with love, but you all dont strike me as the orgying kind. ADAM: Okay, that Wasn't as much fun as I thought it'd be ADAM: We are not kombucha people. Lift with your back! Animals and Pets Anime Art Cars and Motor Vehicles Crafts and DIY Culture, Race, and Ethnicity Ethics and Philosophy Fashion Food and Drink History Hobbies Law Learning and Education Military Movies Music Place Podcasts and Streamers Politics Programming Reading, Writing, and Literature Religion and Spirituality Science Tabletop Games . Antics ensue. THIS CRIB IS TOO PRECIOUS FOR PLACING A BABY INSIDE IT, YOUR SENSE OF PERFECTION IS JUST A REFLECTION THAT, YOU ARE NOT MENTALLY PREPARED TO MAKE ROOM FOR A KID. Mom was the ghost of Edgar Allan Poe! I'm talkin' jump-scares, the jerky Japanese ghost-walk. Take a look at our library of free monologues . Scarecrow. Im crying because Im so happy. I love old books. DELIA: SHE IS A HURRICANE IN ALL KINDS OF WEATHER, LYDIA: MAMA IF YOU'RE LISTENING, DOESN'T THIS BLOW YOUR MIND, BUT SEEK A LITTLE STRANGER THAN USUAL AND YOU WILL FIND. MISS ARGENTINA: Oh, but you have to go back now. CHARLES: No, you have failed. The Tony-nominated smash Beetlejuice played its final performance on March 11 at the Winter Garden Theatre. OO! MISS ARGENTINA: But thats impossible, you youre a living girl. Now I just need to convince Maxie Dean. DELIA: SUCKS-YES! Gonna go on a little vision quest, find my dad. (a beat.) I didnt like strangers when I was alive. And yet, I worry. JUNO: Oh, look at you! All rights go to Tim Burton and creator. LYDIA: Yeah, you look like a bloated zebra that a lion ripped apart and then didnt eat because there was obviously something wrong with it, so it just rotted in the hot African sun. OH! Couple of five-star reviews. Thats why Im doing this. (ADAM kisses BEETEJUICE. Please, dont spin the wheel! Step right up and lets play a game that I like to call RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!. Basically it follows the plot of Beetlejuice the Musical, but Lydia's twin friends, Lily and David come to try and help their friend through this trying time. LYDIA: I can't keep living like this! Lets find out! Just a bunch of Howards and then you die. New phone, who dis? BEETLEJUICE: I KNOW THAT BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS, THE MAITLANDS, CHOIR: BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE. STOREROOM - DAY Adam puts away the tape but keeps on humming the song. Jesus Christ, why do you gotta be so sexy? ADAM: Yeah. Youre under so much stress, you must relax! CHARLES: I just have to get the chalk. Because I too am attracted to Mr. Beetlejuice. She's now taking to TikTok to spread [] Can you believe that? AHHH! You said you would help us! They sound so beautiful. It CLICKS OFF. Delia, that was just the wind. (a beat.) In Conclusion: Beetlejuice the Musical Is Fantastic. And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff. You'll know that I've abandoned hope. DELIA: Knock Knock! Wait come back! Our countdown includes scenes from "Beetlejuice", "School Daze", "Grease 2" and more! BEETLEJUICE: Why does everyone KEEP LEAVING ME! Theyre made out of the devil! Now you remember what my guru Otho says! "Things seem pretty quiet. CHARLES: I already did change. ADAM: You don't like this stuff? Beetlejuice DC Script - Free download as PDF File (.pdf), Text File (.txt) or read online for free. Netherworld. BARBARA: Lydia, why did Beetlejuice give that to you? CHARLES: You think this is what I want? AH AH AH AH!). ADAM: Barbara, run! Those people just died, and you guys are clapping! AND Im from New Jersey! So! And now were all alone. It's just like you said, you dont always get it, but youre a part of it. Dont, DONT text me in the middle of the night saying U up? because guess what? If we want our house back, we have to fight for it! But a genuine haunted house? My baby's got a body that doesnt quit and a brain that doesnt work! Powerless. Promise me we can talk about her. CHARLES: Youre right. We got any kids in the audience? Yes, I love that man of mine. Your mother loved this song. What if Lydias in my head right now? The whole "being dead" thing has never been so frightfully fun as in Beetlejuice, the Broadway musical based on the 1988 Tim Burton cult classic movie.
Alright. Lydia: i can't change anything. LYDIA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? close. (a beat.) BARBARA: You cant make every wall an accent wall! Eddie Perfect, Lydia is a dark, yet exceedingly smart young woman. Stupid sheet!, (Ad lib.). ADAM: So, crazy story. Barbara, put her there now put her here, OWWWWW! This house is actually pretty interesting. Hes a monster. CHARLES: Im glad you like it. (laughs.). Mr. Beetlejuice, since we met, you have pinched me, and groped me, and harassed me, sir, and I wanna tell you, in front of all these people, that it has worked! Just like, what if Im never happy again? LYDIA: WAY BACK WHEN I WAS JUST TEN SIMPLE AND SWEET, EVERYWHERE, FELLAS WOULD STARE OUT ON THE STREET, LYDIA: NOW ONE OF 'EM LOVES ME, WANTS TO BE MINE, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY, MY CREEPY OLD GUY, BARBARA/DELIA: GIRLS MAY SEEM DISGUSTED, BUT WE'RE ACTUALLY JUST SHY, BEETLEJUICE: I AM OLDER, BUT I'M GLAD I WAITED, ALL: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY. ALL: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY! Hes my white whale. IM ALIVE! We used to make the haunted houses in the garage, but, in the summer so no one expected it. I'LL MAKE THE BEST OF BEING FLESH AND BONE, BEETLEJUICE: Thats right! MAXINE: OH STOP! And Ill admit. I got all the way to Howards store, and then Howard tells me their out of stock. OTHO: Yes, (imitating DELIA) Woah! The production is scheduled to close on June 6 . Ill just ask Adam and Barbara. The man next to me is the one I want. LYDIA: We made a good team! If you would like to give a public . LYDIA: The Netherworld? (laughs) Hell do it. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Drink it, or throw it out! BARBARA: It was SO hard! ), ON THE WHOLE BEING DEAD THING (AH AH AH AH). You are tougher than you look. The sound of the music is evidence of the fact that the Maitlands have allowed Lydia to dance to the music and levitate in the living room as a . And speaking of, right on time! And its not fair, you know? BUT BEETLEJUICE, IT'S NOT AS IF I'VE LOST MY MIND. BEETLEJUICE: Holy crap! LYDIA: Just wanna make sure I know who I'm working with. Hiya mom! First time haunting your own genuine haunted house, and youre a natural. BEETLEJUICE: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! What am I doing? LYDIA: Dead Mom?
CHARLES: Oh yes, Lydia, she uh, Im afraid she wont be joining us. This is all very believable. I can bring your daddy so much pain. BEETLEJUICE: Okay, plan B! LYDIA: What? You! BEETLEJUICE See, this is what life is. I COULD SEARCH FOR ALL ETERNITY AND NEVER SEE YOUR FACE, I DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY'S HOME OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH, IS THERE A WAY BACK HOME? Keep it coming gentleman! Chuck, I never leave home without them (he and MAXINE erupt into laughter.) And breathers worry so much about their stupid little lives, most of them never notice anything strange or unusual unless you make them. ENSEMBLE: Daylight come and we wan' go PASTOR: (spoken) In times like these, we have no words We have only each other Today we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz Devoted wife . Its the last day of their entire lives and this is what theyre talking about! God, why cant he just leave me alone? Im sorry everybody. ADAM: Oh yeah? And that is exactly how we can beat him. LYDIA: Oh. Adam, we need a door. You know what it feels like to get everything you thought you ever wanted, but still feel like no one will every love you? We're gonna be rich! But I swear to you, we will. You see, the living ignore the dead. Girl, just say it three times in a row. Beetlejuice is a stage musical with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect and book by Scott Brown and Anthony King. THREE TIMES IN A ROW, IT MUST BE SPOKEN UNBROKEN. IM TIRED OF TRYIN TO IRON OUT MY CREASES, HE WANTS ME TO SMILE AND CLAP LIKE A PERFORMING SEAL, YOU WONT BELIEVE THE MESS THAT WEVE BECOME, ARE YOU RECEIVING? BEETLEJUICE: Well then, go fuck yourself. THE MAITLANDS: (creepily.) LYDIA: In my vision, my dad and I are back in our old house in New York. Thats the problem! Not answering! All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. And so do I! All you gotta do is say my name! Its finally time for you two to go to the Netherworld! Im a part of this too! Devoted wife to Charles, beloved mother to Lydia. MAXIE DEAN: Oh, dont mind her. LYDIA YOU GIVE ME THAT! Lydia doesnt have my resilience. Except for you, Dead Mom. BARBARA: WE'LL RATTLE CHAINS AND I DON'T KNOW! BUT NOTHING'S A CHORE WHEN YOU'RE RESTORING, APART FROM FRUSTRATION, PAIN, AND FINANCIAL DRAIN. Shes a demon, and she doesnt get me. COMPANY: GOD, I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A SHOW ABOUT DEATH! But we just have to hold onto each other and live through it. I thought she was talking about us. MAXIE DEAN: CHUCK!!! LYDIA: I had a change of heart. Just put me in the game. Maybe I should answer for her. After everything Ive done for her. CHARLES: Delia, you erotic astronaut! We do not have time to make screaming, passionate, love right now. Beetlejuice truly hits me in a special part of my heart. Ive learned a lot. LYDIA: What are you talking about? Its about love! Adam, wanna do the honors? I can bring your daddy so much pain. BEETLEJUICE: We are gonna make such a great team! WHY DO YOU POLISH YOUR CRIB WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A KID? I am utterly alone." -Lydia Deetz. And Im not gonna let you take it from her! Stripey Ghost Man? Were not like you! So, goodbye. Ive already been to hell and back. New productions headed our way include "Six," the musical that turns the six wives of Henry VIII into pop icons; "Beetlejuice," the musical spin on Tim Burton's 1988 film starring . If you're a fan of Beetlejuice the Musical on Broadway, then you probably know Elizabeth Teeter. We are invisible. Lydia is injured at work but the Ghost with the Most decides it's his job to take care of her which starts to bring Adam and Charles around on the terribly suited relationship. she utters this indignant monologue. AHAHAHAHA SHUT UP! MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! I mean, real ghosts? Thats why youre stuck in the attic! Lydia: No! Own that. Sometimes puppet shows are sad. Every bit of it. Thats great! CHARLES: Lydia, this is a good thing. Where are you? OTHO: Delia! LYDIA: Greetings, ghosts. BEETLEJUICE: NO! ~ You had met Lydia Deetz online on social media, and found out that she was moving into your town. OTHO: Its Kevin! LYDIA: No, it was adorable. And I like the attic! beetlejuice baby, when you're toast you're toast and i'm the ghost you're gonna need the most you need a demon who's smart helping you master the art so how 'bout we all make a start on the whole, you know, let's face it mourners (cont'd) dies irae oh so irae dies irae dies irae dies irae ah ah mourners (cont'd) ah ah ah ah ah ah beetlejuice & mourners god i hope you're ready for . Before Juno sees you. WE COULD JUST WALK BUT WE'VE DONE THAT BEFORE, ADAM: THAT MUST BE THE REASON SHE SEES US, FRIENDS WHO DON'T STOP AT PROBLEMS OR OBSTACLES. Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall. God, youre a screw up! But she was talking about us. Can I see? I relate to it in so many ways, especially in Lydia's journey through grief. In the video, Baldwin recalls the one thing that gave him hope about the film was the performance of his co-star, Michael Keaton, whom he describes as a "comedy Annie Oakley.". Sign up today to unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. These are the biggest changes that . Leave this house! Got any references? And life! Based on his/her attributes, we recommend you consider these audition pieces! BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah. After Adam and Barbara realized that Lydia wasn't like the rest of her family, they didn't want Betelgeuse to scare her anymore. The script was . This is amazing! So, I have an idea. BEETLEJUICE: AHH YOU FOOLED ME WITH LOVE! BEETLEJUICE: Yeah, time moves differently when youre dead, but boy does it move. Then I guess theres no rush! 7 a script for the sequel was commissioned. Really hot apartment in Queens, where the doors locked from the outside go on little. Anthony King the haunted houses in the garage, but youre going to be such interesting! 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